Potato chips and pimiento cheese sandwiches with a side of mutual aid
Drive-A-Senior’s annual Game Day brings elders, volunteers together for bingo, dominos, and lunch served on good old-fashioned white bread.
I don’t eat much pimiento cheese. Or soft sandwich bread.
I also haven’t played Old Maid in at least a decade. But I have been seeing seniors in my neighborhood more frequently.
Last fall, I joined Drive-A-Senior ATX, a volunteer organization that gives rides to folks who cannot or don’t drive any more. I’d wanted to spend a little more time with elders beyond dropping off a meal through Meals on Wheels once a week, so I signed up and made an appointment for a training session in the office.
That’s where I met Deb, a mom of two who grew up in Puerto Rico and was a kindred spirit from the moment I met her. She’s one of just a handful of employees who operate Drive-A-Senior ATX out of a small West Austin space behind a church that lets them use the space for free.
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This was November when I was just at the beginning of a heartbreaking situation with my rental house. My heart was heavy that day, but, as she showed me the dashboard that keeps all the ride requests organized, I immediately felt like I was supposed to be sitting with her in that moment. I asked her how she got into eldercare.
She said it’s a way to feel like doing something for her mom, even though her mom lives back in Puerto Rico. But it’s also been part of her life philosophy for nearly 20 years.
“I started taking care of people when I was in college, and things started going better for me. I might not have gotten a lot, but I got what I needed,” she told me. “So I never stopped.”
Those words sunk into my heart as I picked up my badge and the Drive-A-Senior magnet that’s now on my car. The election had just happened. My house had just been vandalized by people I’d once trusted. I was feeling defeated in more ways than one.
But there were pimiento cheese sandwiches and precious moments I’d never want to forget in my future.
Over the next few months, I started picking up folks, almost all of whom live within just a mile or two of my house. Some are by themselves; others have moved in family members to get a little bit of extra help. They are going to doctor’s appointments and haircuts. To the grocery store. To the community city. To church.
One client visits a friend of his in a nursing home. They are writing a book together.
Some of these neighbors, including my Meals on Wheels client with the worn-out welcome mat, don’t have family members. We are the little bit of extra help that is keeping them out of a nursing home themselves.
This is what I’m learning is called aging in place. It’s a simple idea — that we should be able to live in our houses as long as we can safely and as long as we desire to do so — but one that is more difficult in a society with the kind of geographic isolation that we have in ours.
That’s where the pimiento cheese sandwiches comes in.
In February, the organization hosted its annual Game Day, where volunteers like me picked up seniors and brought them to a central location for lunch and a couple of hours of playing games and chatting with each other. It’s a chance to socialize and get out of the house for some fun, not just a medical appointment.
They’ve been doing this Game Day for years, and and that cold, gray day in February, I sat at a table with several clients I’ve never met before and a fellow driver, a volunteer in his 80s who has been driving fellow seniors around for nearly 20 years.
We gathered around a haphazard game of Old Maid and munched on those soft, crustless pimiento cheese and tuna salad sandwiches that were cut into rectangles to make them a little easier to eat. We chatted about whatever topics we could find in common. Elvis. The weather. What kind of cookies we liked.
With assistance from the Young Men’s Service League, there were as many volunteers helping run the event as clients and drivers like me to enjoy the activities. Every few minutes, a sweet-faced youth would stop by our table and ask if we needed anything else.
Toward the last hour of the event, Deb, who was so kind on my first day, started pulling bingo numbers and announcing them in English and Spanish.
We all had our cards on the table and a crayon in one hand, ready to mark off our numbers. A table full of prizes awaited, including a handmade card that announced its prize: a hamburger lunch with Deb.
“No games. No joke. Just lunch with a friend.”
We’d all come together for connection, laughter, and a little mid-day nourishment.
It’s funny that we think of this as charity work.
Because it’s very clearly mutual aid.
Happy spring, readers.
Thank you for letting me share this little vignette about what has become an important part of my life.
As I’ve grown older, lost loved ones, survived a career change, and spent a lot of time thinking about how we got into this mess and what we might possibly get out of it, I keep coming back to senior care as something I can do, in my grief, to not only get through these times but also to help shape the world in a way that, one day, helps all of us.
I wanted to share this story here to raise awareness about Drive-A-Senior ATX, which always needs volunteers and financial donations to keep these rides happening. Their small staff ensures that every ride request for a medical appointment be covered, even if it means paying for a rideshare.
If you are moved by the idea of helping neighbors in this way, I hope you’ll consider reaching out to this organization or a similar one wherever you live to sign up to help.
It’s about helping others, but let’s be honest, this is about helping us feel like we are doing *something* that matters in a time when it’s easy to feel helpless and confused.
When I have a ride scheduled, I don’t feel so helpless and confused.
If you are so inclined, it’s not too late to donate to Drive-A-Senior ATX for Amplify Austin Day! I set out to raise money for them this year, and I’m so grateful to the folks who chipped in when I asked for their support on social media. I’ve raised almost $500 and would love to increase that number before the month ends. No donation amount is too small.
As I sign off this week, I’ll leave you with this last Drive-A-Senior moment. My friend with the worn-out welcome mat requested a ride to the beauty shop the other day, so I picked her up and told her I was trying to raise money and awareness about Drive-A-Senior ATX for Amplify Austin Day, so she gave permission for me to film our lunch hour together.
I’m so glad she said yes to that request because the video has become a treasured memento of that day, not unlike the memory of that pimiento cheese sandwich that prompted me to write today.
I hope that each of you has your own version of this in your life. There are so many opportunities to show kindness to people around you. I hope you’ll look out for them.
Because you find what you’re looking for.
Until next week,
Addie
What a lovely story-You are truly making a difference in this community. <3
I love this so much. You are such a kind soul. —Mel